Vol. CCL · No. 1776 ★ ★ ★ Final Edition ★ ★ ★ Price: Free

The Time Warp Times

"All the news that's fit to misprint, since approximately whenever."
Queens, New York Monday, April 27, 2026 Forecast: Anachronistic
Property of Chris Chappell

I. Choose Your Time-Traveler

A figure from American history is being yanked, against their will, into the year 2026. Pick which one collides with Chris Chappell's morning in Queens.

II. Fill the Blanks

Don't peek at the story first — that's cheating, and Ben Franklin would disapprove. Empty fields will be left as blanks.

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